Canosapien vs Canomutant
by Rogue Rover
Summary: Parody of Apple's commercials.
1. Newspaper

Canosapien vs. Canomutant: Newspaper

A white background is seen. A canosapien walks in with a newspaper.  
"Hi! I'm a canosapien," said Canosapien.  
A canomutant barges in.  
"I'm a canomutant," said Canomutant. He sees the newspaper in Canosapien's hands. "What's that?"  
"You don't want to see it," said Canosapien as he attempts to hide the newspaper behind his back.  
"Of course I do," he replied as he grabs the paper and reads it aloud. "Road Rovers save world again from vicious canomutants." He gets upset and crumples up the newspaper.  
"I told you so, and besides it is only one person's opinion," reassured Canosapien as he picks up the paper and smoothes it back out.  
"Yeah and that person is going change that opinion," said Canomutant as he rushes off the set.  
Canosapien shakes his head as the Road Rovers logo appears.

Author's Note: I don't own Road Rovers. They are the property of Warner Bros. I hope you enjoyed it. There is more to come. Please review. Comments and suggestions are welcome. My first story will be coming soon. You'll have to wait for the second and third stories though because I'm skipping them for the moment and working on my fourth story. That's all for now.


	2. Reconditioning

Chapter 2: Reconditioning

Canosapien is already on the white set.

"Hi, I'm a canosapien," Canosapien says.

Canomutant walks in with a hospital gown on.

"I'm a canomutant," Canomutant says.

"Uh...what's with the gown?" Canosapien says, looking at Canomutant up and down.

"Oh, I'm being reconditioned into a better soldier."

"Meaning?"

"They're going to put things into me."

"Is that legal?" Canosapien asks with a shocked look on his face.

"Who cares? I'm going to be a better soldier," Canomutant replies, walking off the white set.

The Road Rovers logo appears.

Author's Note: It's been a while since I updated this one, but I've been busy with these other stories and kind of been slacking off. I'll be coming up with more of these in the future. I'm also working on a new version of Getting to Know You, which will be a lot better than the one that is out there right now. Please comment. It'll help make these stories better. I hope you all are having a great summer. Another chapter for this will come out tomorrow.


	3. Recruiting

Chapter 3: Recruiting

Canosapien and Canomutant are already on set. Canomutant is wearing an Elmer Fudd costume, carrying a net.

"I'm a canosapien," Canosapien says.

"I'm a canomutant," Canomutant says.

Canosapien looks at Canomutant's costume.

"What's with the get up?"

"Be very, very quiet. I'm after canine recruits."

"How are you going to convince them to join you?" Canosapien asks Canomutant with some concern.

"By force of course," Canomutant says proudly.

"Wouldn't it be better to just ask them?"

"Yeah right," Canomutant laughs. "Forcing them is much easier." He walks off. "Now be quiet...I see one."

The Road Rovers logo appears.

Author's Note: For the time being, this is the last one for a while. I have an idea to link this one up with my stories. In between my future stories will be a shortie from Canosapien vs Canomutant. This idea came to me yesterday. So after each story, it will be followed by a Canosapien vs Canomutant Shortie. Thanks for reading and please comment. All comments and suggestions will make this series better as it progresses.


	4. I'mma Let You Finish

Chapter 4: I'mma Let You Finish

A white background is seen, and Canosapien walked in.

"Hi, I'm a canosapien," Canosapien said with a smile and wave.

"I'm a canomutant," Canomutant said as he walked onto the set, with a skip in his step.

Canosapien noticed this and said, "You seem to be in a cheerful mood today."

"Yeah," Canomutant said with a nod. "I just received word that we have a high track record, and..."

"Yo Canomutant!" Kanye West suddenly rushed onto the set, interrupting Canomutant. "I'm happy for you, n' I'mma let you finish, but the Road Rovers have the best track record of all time. Of all time! The Road Rovers have the best success track record, n' the canomutants have the best failure track record, n'..."

"Hey Kanye," Canomutant interrupted the music artist. "I'm not happy for you, and I'm not letting you finish because you're finished.

Canomutant chased Kanye West off the stage, while Canosapien looked on and shook his head. The Road Rovers logo appears on screen.


	5. Santa's Little Helpers

Chapter 5: Santa's Little Helper

A snowy white background could be seen, and canosapien walked in with a stocking cap and a heavy coat.

"Merry Christmas everyone, I'm a canosapien," Canosapien greeted with a cheerful smile on his face.

Canomutant, who was dressed as Santa Claus, entered onto the scene with a big bag behind his back.

"Ho, ho, ho! I'm Santa Claws!" Canomutant cried out at the top of his lungs.

Canosapien looked Canomutant up and down and commented, "You're really in a festive mood aren't you?"

Canomutant placed a gloved hand on his 'belly' and laughed heartily. "Yes, I am, but sadly, Santa's Workshop isn't in such a festive mood. You see, Santa lost a lot of his little helpers this past year."

"Ouch, what are you going to do about it, Santa?" Canosapien asked with a worried look on his face.

"I'm looking for volunteers to help out at the North Pole," Canomutant replied as he shifted the large to his other shoulder, and while he did that, sounds of barking could be heard coming from inside the bag. "If you excuse me, I must dash away, dash away, dash away all."

Canomutant walked off the set with the barking bag, and Canosapien stood there and watched Canomutant walk off the set.

"Ho, ho, oh no!" Canomutant cried out as the large bag ripped open, releasing all of 'Santa's Little Helpers'.

Looking back at the camera, Canosapien shrugged his shoulders and said, "Merry Christmas everyone."

The Road Rovers logo appeared as snow fell in the background.


	6. I'm Not Defective! I'm Not Defective!

Chapter 6: I'm Not Defective! I'm Not Defective!

A white background was seen, and Canosapien walked onto the set.

Facing the camera, he waved and greeted, "Hi, I'm a canosapien."

Nothing happened for a few seconds, causing Canosapien to look offstage with a concerned look on his face.

A panic stricken voice cried out from offstage, "I'M NOT DEFECTIVE! I'M NOT DEFECTIVE!"

Suddenly, Canomutant barged onto the set and cowered behind Canosapien.

"What's wrong with you?" Canosapien asked as he looked at the frightened canomutant.

Still in a ball, Canomutant answered, "He decided to give us a vacation."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's a permanent vacation," Canomutant squeaked out in fright. "He's taking all of the defects and taking them for a ride that they'll never forget."

"Well, you know what they say: 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'," Canosapien advised sagely.

"Well, Life should take those lemons and shove it. And if Life doesn't want them, I'll figure out how to make a Molotov cocktail out of lemon juice and go over to Life's house and BURN…IT…TO…THE…GROUND! LET'S SEE HOW LIFE LIKES ITS OWN TASTE OF MEDICINE!" Canomutant stormed off the set. "IT'S TIME FOR THIS DEFECT'S TIME TO SHINE!"

Canomutant continued to mutter to himself about how to get back at Life and all of the lemons it gave him. Canosapien sighed and shook his head before the Road Rovers logo appeared.


	7. I'm Not Going Down with This Ship!

Chapter 7: I'm Not Going Down with This Ship!

A white background was seen, and Canosapien walked onto the set. Canosapien looked at camera with a warm smile on his face and waved.

"Hi, I'm a canosapien," he greeted the viewers.

There was silence for a short time. Canosapien looked to his left and then to his right, but he saw no Canomutant.

"Uh…where's Canomutant?" he asked with a confused expression on his face.

The sound of a door opening was heard off screen followed by sound of wet boots. The owner of the sounds belonged to Canomutant as he walked out onto the set, dripping from head to tail with water.

Spitting out a mouthful of water, Canomutant said, "I'm here."

With a concerned look on his face, Canosapien asked, "What happened to you?"

"Parvo happened," Canomutant scoffed as he wrung his tail with his hands. "He and Groomer bailed out on us when his ship got shot down. And those two were the only ones who knew how to pilot that blasted thing!"

"So how did you get here?"

"Well, fortunately for us, the piece of junk crashed just a few yards from a beach shoreline, and we swam to shore," Canomutant explained before walking off the set. "Now, if you excuse me, I need to dry off. I smell like wet dog." As he started to walk off the set he muttered, "I hope those two land in a cacti patch in some desert."

Canosoldier simply shook his head as the Road Rovers logo appears on the screen.


	8. Do it Parvo Style!

Chapter 8: Do It Parvo Style

A white background was seen. Canomutant was dressed in a suit and wore a pair of sunglasses.

Canomutant:

_Do it Parvo style!_

Canomutant began to dance on the stage with music playing in the background. Canosapien walked onto the stage and watched as Canomutant continued to dance. Spotting the stereo, Canosapien turned it off to get Canomutant's attention.

Canomutant stopped dancing and looked at Canosapien. "Hey, why did you turn it off?"

"Sorry Canomutant, but why were you dancing?"

Taking off his sunglasses, Canomutant replied, "I figured that by doing a song and dance would bring in new recruits."

"Had any luck?" Canosapien asked with curiosity.

"I thought I did with a few individuals, but they said that I was old news. They said the Rover Shake was latest sensation," Canomutant replied dejectedly.

Canosapien placed a comforting hand on Canomutant's shoulder. "Don't worry; you'll come up with something that'll get their attention."

The Road Rovers logo appeared, with the Rover Shake music playing in the background.


End file.
